“Avengers: 2” or “Hulk: That’s One Big Green Dick Hunty”

Oh My Fucking God Hunty!

I’m so fuckin' excited to see the biggest movie this summer - the mother fucking Avengers!!! YASSSSSS packed tight full all these hot ass super heroes. Iron Man is in it with his sassy ass and daddy good looks. Captain America please pull those pants down so I can salute dat ass. God bless America honey. Did that super serum make your dingy big too? Thor are you a top or a bottom? That’s the real goddamn end credit footage I need to see bitch. The Hulk, gurllllllllllllll what I can I say I hope his pants rip off this time in 3D. PLEASEEEE BEYONCE give me strength!

Okay so now I’m in the popcorn line and I’m so excited to see the movie, when all of a sudden this cute guy wearing a Captain America T-shirt keeps giving me the eye. So I winked at him, smiled and I giggled real cute like. Then he walked away and headed to the bathroom, but the movie is about to start! What does a little pony do? Before he goes in he motions for me to follow him in. Oh my fuckin gawd!!!! Honey listen this might be the closet I ever to get to banging Captain America.

YES, I followed him into the bathroom and then ran into the stall with him. Honey it was Atlantic Station too! Fuck you I don’t care. They charged me 20 bucks for a ticket then 10 more dollars for some popcorn. They owe me bathroom sex at least once with this fake ass Captain America. Meanwhile in the bathroom stall, yes the handicapped one because there is more room in that one, we were kissing passionately. He was strong and tall like a real Avenger. His package was big and long like a real Avenger. I held onto him moaning, “Steve Rogers save me”.

Until he said that his real name was Mike. Shut the fuck up Mike and keep going!

Avenge me bitch! Avenge me!

Just like a real Avenger, he wouldn't stop talking about his emotions, so I had to get outta there. I ran back into the movie and it was at the end. Honey I can’t tell you what the fuck this movie was about but I did see the Hulk, Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, Addias Man, and some weird girls at the end blowing shit up.

I give this movie 4 blowjobs out of 4, because that’s what it felt like that fake ass Captain America gave me in the bathroom. OH NO HUNTY! Don’t slip on the butter!

Hot guys in the movie that you may want to jerk off to during or after you see it.

Here is a list of who I want to Avenge in bed!

  • Iron Man- He is a smart ass but who cares as long as he can get it up. Give me a can opener bitch.


  • Captain America- Hold me and let’s talk about America, apple pie and baseball or whatever will get me laid. God bless the USA.

  • The Hulk- Listen don’t let him go green while his junk is inside you. It will surely tear your ass apart. Unless you are a power bottom.

  • Hawkeye- He shoots and he scores. I’m interested. As long he doesn’t miss my mouth.

  • Quicksilver- Shit he may be too fast for me. Talk about hit (it) and run. I’d let him. I would scream for 2 seconds. That’s how long it would take to bang.

Coming soon my ass will be reviewing….

 “Mad Max: Fury Road” or “Sparke Hooves: Road Head”

“Jurassic World” or “Chris Pratt is the second coming of Christ”

For more about Sparkle Hooves, please visit his Facebook or watch his videos here.
Sparkle Hooves was created by Eddie Ray and animator, Tori Cook.