If you are like us, year-end lists of all cultural stripes consume your work-break attention for a solid month. And in perusing the glut of lists in your RSS feed, there's occasionally an item of culture of which you're reminded occupied some frenzy in the year in question, and which you've decidedly forgotten. (Years are long; they contain multitudes, etc.) Sometimes you yourself or your community were the very ones to ramp up the excitement for this Thing, and yet here you are, clueless as to how you'd lost it so quickly.
Sometimes these artists, films, songs, movements, people, or TV shows were merely a product of hype, the end product of which did not justify. Sometimes they were quite good, and yet they fell by the wayside all the same.
We here at WUSSY have compiled a list of all things cultural that occupied our attention or excitement this year, and which we were reminded of only by the good folx populating the culture commentary circuit. Some of these items spawn from a collective “we,” and some are a hypothetical “we” driven by me, the author of this post. Some of these are cheats, fraudulent items which we either were not excited for, or perhaps didn't forget as fully as we claim. As a ground rule, if you had to say, “Oh, yeah, that was this year,” it was eligible for this list.
But here it is: The List of Things.
Here she is, the red-faced Aerosmith groupie you loved to hate and who deserved every ounce! We hated this woman. Public enemy no. 1 longer than a Taylor Swift chart-topper, she responded to the spotlight with a ravenous and desperate hunger that would have embarrassed more than enraged had her actions not stood in the way of so much happiness. But as Sisyphus is always crushed under the weight of his boulder, so was Kim flattened by the weight of the response from the courts, the public, and the emergence of Donald Trump as the champion of the year in Hateability.
THE AFFLUENZA TEEN
What was this about? I'll wait.
ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK, season three
OITNB season one was vital, brilliant television, and season two didn't disappoint. At least, initially. While we waited for Netflix to purge its studio in its typical season-dump fashion, our opinion of season two's virtues soured slightly. Vee's villain turn seemed more and more out of place in a show which values believable, real characters above all else, and her death at the end was ridiculous. Like a candidate who loses steam just before the vote, season three excited less and less. Perhaps it was Natasha Lyonne's truly horrid cameo as Rickey in the season premiere of Girls (see above, and cringe). Or maybe it was all of that Ruby Rose hype. Whatever it was, the air leaked out of the balloon, and finishing season three felt more like a chore than something we truly wanted to do. Our reward? Fifteen minutes of triumphant puddle-splashing.
MARNIE'S ASSHOLE MOTORBOATING
Speaking of Girls, remember Marnie getting her ass eaten by the lost Mumford Son? Well, yeah, I guess we do. We'll just strike it from the list and move on.
Oh, no. This is a monumental lapse on our part. I mean, the legendary Sleater-Kinney comes back, with a new album and tour and everything, and we straight up forget about it. We loved No Cities to Love in January, and when we were reminded to check in last week, still found a lot to love. Is January the Bermuda Triangle of music release months? Fantastic music is often released in January, and yet, come year end, only a hit on the head can bring it to mind. We're truly sorry about this. We'll do better from here on out, we promise.
THE DAILY SHOW with JOHN STEWART'S LAST EPISODE
Ah, The Daily Show, so essential to a certain American teen's political formulation! Truth be told, we hadn't really tuned in to Jon Stewart's pedagogical variety hour for a few years now, what with the slow exeunt of semi-famous and talented correspondents (that, in the show's best days, balanced out Stewart's tell-it-like-it-is-ness with farce and camaraderie), only to be replaced by non-famous and semi-talented correspondents (and Josh Gad, the very worst). So when it came time to bid Stewart good night and good luck, we forgot to tune in on time. Sure, we watched the clips shared by friends and Buzzfeed alike, but if quizzed last week, we'd have sworn the show had been off the air since 2008.
Ultimately, Stewart's legacy was that he taught us how to detect bullshit in its many forms, and bravely, hilariously call it out. (Okay, I admit that copy was taken directly from the mouth of Stewart in his final address. He was very clear about what he taught us.) Also, he did a Thing with that Super PAC. Not sure what that was about.
THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON
Like a slowly dissolving marriage, we've forgotten many a Marvel movie over the past year or two. Ever since Avengers dropped, there's been so many (below average) entries in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we haven't kept up. So while we were thrilled at the prospect of another Avengers (directed by Joss Whedon, no less!), we simply fell behind in catching up on what the titular heroes were doing in their own sagas. Hey, Marvel, if you want us to turn up on opening day, maybe don't make us sit through a 24-hour movie marathon in preparation.
McDONALD'S ALL-DAY BREAKFAST MENU
How did this make the list? The commercials touted a grassroots swelling of demand for non-stop McMuffins, but I don't buy it. I don't know anyone who hasn't eaten McDonald's for breakfast as a last resort, and while last resorts come at all hours of the day, surely this can't have been necessary. Someone should check in on that Twitter campaign.
So there you have it. A List of Things that we could remember we forgot. I'm sure there's so much we've forgotten that we forgot to add to this list. If there's something you remembered you forgot you were excited about this year, let us know in the comments below.