As we ring in the new year, the phrase "New Year, New Me" has become the epitome of making change, cleaning out all the negative and unnecessary things in your life as well as claiming the birth of an entirely new outlook and attitude. Needless to say it’s a bunch of bullshit, but one thing remains true to the saying that is surprisingly never mentioned: "New Year, New Me, Same Bullshit.”
A huge part of this bullshit revolves around the boy (and girl) drama that we seem to find ourselves in year after year. Hell, month after month. Especially those of us who participate in the torturous game of entertaining fuckboys. Lower on the spectrum of relationships than "FWB" (friends with benefits) stands the fuckboy whose main purpose is literally just to be a no-strings-attached living sex doll. Rude as that may sound, that’s what the fuckboy sees you as, too (or they should anyways!). Having a fuckboy can be messy if done incorrectly, so I have come up with a list of ten rules that have safely guided me through my fuckboy interactions with minimum drama and minimum cleanup after it's done. The list is as follows:
1. Be Upfront About What You Expect/Want.
2. A Fuckboy Is ONLY For Fucking. Don’t Make Plans To Hang Out.
3. Never Spend The Night, Or Vice-Versa.
4. Make Sure That Your Fuckboy Is Baggage Free.
5. Three Red Flags, and It's Game Over.
6. Always Let At Least One Of Your Close Friends Know Where You're Going The First Time You Meet.
7. Be That Person, and Stalk Their FB, IG, etc.
8. A Fuckboy Can Turn Into A Friend, but It's Irreversible. Make That Clear.
9. Don’t Buy Gifts. Ever.
10. Keep Feelings Out Of It. The Moment You Feel Them, End It.
Minks will be performing this Friday night at WUSSY's monthly queer dance party Powder Room!