LOUDSPEAKER:: Dissociation with the Matriarchy by Shane Dedman

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WUSSY is proud to present poetry by Berlin queer, Shane Dedman. 
If you would like to send in a writing submission, please contact 
Nicholas Goodly

And at this moment someone passes your window
who once dwelled in your home, who once dwelled in the home you once dwelled in
caught between dual dimensions
as their body continues and their mind implodes.

My mind is stained by tobacco,
popcorn ceilings tinted with tar,
thin layers of flammable walls infested
by a nose for nostalgia.

When meeting your mother, you being lover
I taste sugar in my mouth and
my only vice, the sting
of that symbolic phallus
as a child I said
I wouldn’t touch.

I want to learn her every decision.
I want to remain wholly myself, but
validated with her guidance, allowance from her
sends me
into a state
of overstimulating
uncomfortable
b l i s s.

My mouth becomes dry as guilt springs up,
inducing flashbacks of my mother,
remembering betrayal.

Cradled close by tender development
only tugs me in a direction of
pride, piercing the small of my back.
Her love, is it pure love?
Or a pawn of chests…

Too young did I become my own,
bruised by insolence, disowned.
I’m no one’s baby.
But upon introductions, first impressions
are too base to divulge.
I hope you can like me despite it all.

Shane Dedman is a genderfuck, the founder of Feedback Poetry Collective, and a multimedia artist currently based out of Berlin.