Documenting a Gay Porn Star in ‘Jonathan Agassi Saved My Life’

Arts
Written By Nicholas Goodly
Featured
Main Banner Ad - Do not delete!

It’s easy to place people on pedestals. We idolize others, their charisma, divine wisdom and cunning, their bodies, god-like physique, and Adonis sex appeal. Tomer Heymann shows us, however, that no man is a god, but something far more complex, and infinitely more beautiful—human. Tomer’s documentary Jonathan Agassi Saved My Life follows Yonatan Langer, also known as the internationally-recognized porn star Jonathan Agassi, and his larger-than-life persona navigating the sex industry. His life is filled with beautiful men, hot sex and adoring fans, as well as darkness, pain, loneliness and self-destruction.

Jonathan’s fame comes from a taboo line of work, but he has seen success unlike many other in his field. Filmed between Berlin and Israel, the film looks at porn and escorting on an intimate level, as well as the star’s close relationship with his mother and family, challenging traditional notions of family and unconditional love. 

The film peels back the ugly parts of his carefully-curated image. We see Jonathan at his most fragile, a man who wants to be loved. We witness his battles with the demons of hopelessness and addiction in a visceral and unflinching way. Despite the dangers and heartbreaking moments Jonathan faces, Tomer’s portrayal of him feels humanizing and rich, imperfect and whole. Through Jonathan’s flaws, we are invited to confront ourselves more honestly, and inspect our own lives with an equal level of sensitivity, forgiveness, and compassion. 

We asked Tomer Heymann about his experience on the project as well as his approach to documentary filmmaking.



What brought you to Jonathan Agassi as the subject for this documentary?

I met Jonathan Agassi on the streets of Tel Aviv and I immediately felt envious of his freedom, of his wild choices. I insisted on continuing seeing him. When I approached him because something about him intrigued me, he smiled with his charming, crafty smile and said, “Pleased to meet you, my name is Yonatan Langer”.

From the little information I had about him, I knew that he was an internationally successful porn star, that he had millions of fans all over the world, and that the porn films he starred in were sold and watched by millions of people. When he finally agreed to meet me, he adamantly refused to be the hero of the film, and said that his mother would never agree to be exposed in a film that exposed his bizarre life. 

When I saw him again on one of his visits to Israel, as his career in Berlin was skyrocketing, and asked to meet his mother, he said, “If you can convince my mother to be in the film, I’m in too”. He added, “My name is not Yonatan anymore. My name is Jonathan Agassi, and you should know that this persona – Jonathan Agassi – saved my life”.



You’ve covered a wide range of subjects through filmmaking. What is something unique to this mode of storytelling that keeps you coming back to the documentary format?

For me it is very elemental and it comes from me. I truly have to be interested and excited about a person and a story and feel the need, a drive to capture it. I don’t choose a subject, it comes to me. The same happened with Jonathan; I met him randomly and I was immediately captivated by him. I suppose I feel like something more interesting than my own life is happening at that time, at that moment. In a certain sense I use people, their lives, their pains, their joys… I guess at those moments there is something more interesting than my own life there which I have to explore.

There's something about the act of documentary filming which is the exact opposite of naive. It involves a lot of vested interests and exploitation – on the part of both the director and the protagonists – when I was younger, there was also a naiveté, an innocence and excitement of not knowing what I was going for with my filming. It's like kissing someone you don't know. You don't know what the kiss will lead to. This thrill was driving me to film my family and my own life but with time I became more aware that I wanted to create something. I discovered my own documentary language that manages to faithfully express what I want to convey and the story that is created in the editing room. I realized immediately that in documentary cinema the person who directs the film initially is the cameraman. The role of the camera is absolutely crucial, which is why I fought and refused to give it up. I am present in many of my films and I always make sure I re-tell the emotions and experiences I myself have. I realized I wanted to share this with the audience and have the audience go through the process with me. Over the years I've come to understand more clearly that this shared process makes the films more alive and more interesting, it intensifies the experience.

While filming this intensely personal and emotionally brutal piece, what role did objectivity play for you as an artist and director during this project?

From the beginning, I told Anna and Jonathan that they will decide the limits of this movie, they will decide how far we go. When he came to the editing room he really pushed me to include hard things in the movie. When I first witnessed the drug issues, the emotional mess, I was really shocked; but honestly, after time I realised it was just part of the movie. I was filming someone who has these problems and addictions. Not sharing that with the audience would have been hypocritical. It really shook me, but you come to realise this is an important aspect of Jonathan’s life, he is someone who has this self-destructive impulse. I was worried for him and wanted to protect him. But at the same time, I didn’t want to make a fake movie about a successful porn star. I tried to balance my commitments to Jonathan and to the film.

I went through so many feelings, I got so involved, financially, emotionally, in so many crises. I can’t separate Anna and Jonathan from myself, they’re really deep in my heart. It wasn’t just a case of making a movie over a couple of years and then everyone goes their own way. We went through very intense highs and lows together. Depression, happiness, fears, worries, and through it all, love. Even though the movie is quite dark, I hope it conveys the love I have for Jonathan and Anna, and the love they have for one another.




The film contains a lot of nudity and is heavy with adult content. Before the film’s premiere in America, you were concerned about how the film would be received; perhaps concerned it may be taken as lewd or pornographic. Can you talk about your decision to keep the film uncensored and unedited?

This film is very specifically about Jonathan. It is about a hole in his soul that he filled with sex and drugs. It’s not about porn stars and the industry in general. I think this movie kills the joy of porn. This wasn’t the purpose: my camera found this angle and I didn’t want to be dishonest about that. Jonathan opens one door to the backstage of this controversial “taboo”. I myself have had a diverse life – I discovered I’m gay, I’ve been to parties, I’ve been to saunas, I’ve had relationships, I’m not someone who came from the moon yesterday, I am aware of all this hiding behind the door. But still, honestly, I never thought that people would go as far as injecting their penises [with drugs to last longer]. But it is something common. The illusion of this sustained erection, where you can fuck for so long? It’s fake. Chemical. 

The film is uncensored because I chose to show Jonathan and how he lives and works which meant revealing a lot that would often make you look away. I believe it is important to be honest and transparent as this is part of Jonathan’s story, it is what makes him who he is. Jonathan is a radical guy which is why this film looks radical, it is not a light movie, because he’s not an easy, light character.




A major arc of the film with Jonathan Agassi is his drug use, which we see get more intense and pervasive throughout the run of the film. Did you witness any indication that substance abuse was more normalized in the gay porn culture, or the gay culture at large?

Jonathan is like the white rabbit in Wonderland who runs into the hole and we jump with him as he takes us behind the scenes of the porn world. But this hole also takes us to his downfall into drug addiction which was not an easy thing to observe. The movie shows what a change drugs can enforce on a human being. A lot of movies talk about what drugs, porn and prostitution do to people, how they disrupt lives but we wanted to show it, not only talk about it and we had a hero who agreed to go all the way. In this light, “Jonathan Agassi saved my life” is not only a movie that goes to the end but it is also the hero that goes to the end. In many scenes Jonathan makes drugs seem “cool” or even “ordinary” and this is where we come in to show the viewers the ugly side of the drugs, the scary side of the drugs which was not material for entertainment, but a call for warning. By the end of the movie we witness how this vice takes over him. 

Anna, Jonathna’s mother after the first screening of the film told the editor she was happy that the shocking drug scenes were included because Jonathan must see himself in these moments and reflect on them.




What would you like people to take away most from Jonathan Agassi’s story?

The quality of the movie is related to Jonathan's essence, to his human essence, part of which is his total dedication and this film is also an example of the dedication and collaboration of both of us. This movie is about an intimate look into a unique person with a unique life, it is about the relationship between mother and son who courageously redefine family concepts. It is about a lonely person who seeks love and meaning but is drawn into a destructive lifestyle that reveals the dark reality of his extreme fantasies. It is real and it is about life and the many layers it has.

Jonathan Agassi Saved My Life is screening in New York at NewFest, New York’s LGBT Film Festival, on October 24th. The film is the winner of the 2019 Atlanta Film Festival Documentary Feature Special Jury Award and the 2019 Reeling Film Festival Award for Best Documentary Feature.

—

Nicholas Goodly is the writing editor of Wussy Magazine.

Featured
Placeholder ad #1 - Do Not Delete!
Placeholder ad #2 - do not Delete!
Featured
Square Ad - Do Not Delete!
Wussy Instagram - Do Not Delete!
Wussy Twitter - do not delete!
Wussy Shop - Do Not Delete!
Nicholas Goodly
Previous

Brittany Howard explores first losses and first loves on new record
Next

Causing a 'Rukus': A Punk Rock Look at Furrydom